Lucky Horse Chinese Takeaways

        REVIEW LOCATION:

New Plymouth

Store: Lucky Horse Chinese Takeaways, 47 Tukapa St.
Price: $7.00

Amount of chips:     5/5
Chip quality:        5/5
Size of fish:        5/5
Fish quality:        4/5

Total Score:         19

Well drained of oil?: Very very.
Satisfied?: Very.

Comments: 

This street has three fish and chip shops within about a 100m radius. Pretty much all next to each other. Two of which I have reviewed in the past (Westown Fish Supplies & Flying Dragon Takeaways) and they hadn't really measured up. They were both powerfully average and forgettable which was strange considering how much competition they have nearby. With that in mind, I had a quick glance of their google review ratings and found Lucky Horse had the lowest rating of the three which didn't give me much hope. I chose to take one for the team and review this shop on my own in fear of it being a complete failure. Boy was I in for a big surprise!

The chips had the perfect creamy mouth feel with an array of crunchy bits hidden underneath. They were that scoop that make you rock back and forth in time to a beat that isn't there while you eat them.

To put things into perspective, that fish was about the size of my entire face. It was a delicious cut of Warehou with a meaty texture similar to a chicken breast. The only thing letting it down was that the batter was ever so slightly under cooked. Had it been given a bit more time to develop this meal would have shined with the best of the best but it's miles ahead of it's close competitors.

The Chinese fast food area of the store was absolutely humming and seems to be their focus. It was like one of those NZ Chinese Fish and chip shops you've seen a million times before but they've really polished the concept. Like a chain with only one store or a parody of itself. Topped off with a set of fake brown leather staff room chairs in the waiting area.

Stockys Takeaways

       REVIEW LOCATION:

New Plymouth

Store: Stockys Takeaways, 61 Omata Rd.
Price: $7.30

Amount of chips:     5/5
Chip quality:        5/5
Size of fish:        5/5
Fish quality:        5/5

Total Score:         20🎉

Well drained of oil?: Yup.
Satisfied?: Yup.

Comments: 

Yup.

Again with the names of these places in New Plymouth! I love it. Just do whatever you want. Just call it whatever.

But seriously though, Stockys was amazing. Hands down the best I've had since I moved back.

Being greeted by their signage from a mile away was a real treat. A massive fish in the style of small town NZ metal art. The decor had a nice feminine flair which is not really what I was expecting to walk into with a name like Stockys. It felt like I was picking up food from a Briscoes show room.

The reviews online rave about the Stockys burgers and it was one of those moments where my standard order of a fish and a scoop felt like a curse.

As soon as I opened my wrapped meal I let out massive "WHOOOOOOA". The quantity of chips unlike anything I had ever seen. The first thing that came to mind is that I wanted to see what tool they were using to scoop this massive load. They were such an absolute delight to eat that I ate every last one of them.

The house fish was a suuuuper chunky piece of Rig and it too was a pleasure to eat. Every mouthful better than the last.

All of the staff are happy chipper women and you can see there is some serious organisation and systems going on back stage. Apparently the area near it are the rough parts of New Plymouth but I would definitely risk getting a punch in the face for this experience again.

Terry's Takeaways

      REVIEW LOCATION:

New Plymouth

Store: Terry's Takeaways, 309 St Aubyn St.
Price: $6.40

Amount of chips:     5/5
Chip quality:        3/5
Size of fish:        5/5
Fish quality:        5/5

Total Score:         18

Well drained of oil?: Pretty good.
Satisfied?: All good.

Comments: 

From the moment I heard the name of this place I had high hopes for it. Terry's. It's brilliant.

Got a bit of a back story on Terry too. Apparently he started this shop back in the day and it was the place to stop on the way home from the pubs. Eventually Terry got sick of working his magic behind the fryer and took on a new career as a bus driver. The spirit of Terry lives on in the New Plymouth Fish and chips scene as the shop carries his name to this day.

The layout of this shop was cool. The counter extended the entire length of the tiny store with standing room only. An uncle standing behind a functioning bain marie looking pleased with himself trying to get a smile from anyone who would make eye contact with him. A wall of fizzy drinks surrounding him like stain glass windows was mesmerizing.

They didn't muck around. They were heaving and the super polite young fella behind the counter already knew which was our phone order and pretty much started ringing it up on the register before we had said anything. Super efficient.

The fish was flawless. A nice meaty chunk of Warehou cooked to perfection and dusted with the right amount of table salt.

The chips on the other hand left more to be desired. My nephew likes to think of himself as a bit of a hot chips connoisseur and said he'd score them a 6 out of 10 and I have to agree with him. They were a bit bruised and beaten and the cook hadn't given them enough love in the fryer. A bit wobbly. A bit flaccid.

I really wish I could call Terry's my go to spot but the chips were a bit of a flat tire if I'm gonna be honest.

Merriland's Takeaways

     REVIEW LOCATION:

New Plymouth

Store: Merriland's Takeaways, 201 Mangorei Rd.
Price: $6.20

Amount of chips:     5/5
Chip quality:        3/5
Size of fish:        5/5
Fish quality:        2/5

Total Score:         15

Well drained of oil?: Not particularly.
Satisfied?: Felt neither here nor there.

Comments: 

The thing I love about telling people that I review fish and chips is how everyone comes out of the wood work to let me know the best places in town that simply can't be missed. Merriland's Takeaways was one of those places. We had extended family joining us for dinner so I thought it would be safe to take a punt on one of the shops from my recommendation list.

It was off to a bit of an undie ripping start when their address on Google maps sent us on a wild goose chase. The location marker falsely said it was among a cluster of kit set houses. This first impression was soured again when we arrived at the actual store after the time stated over the phone only to see our order hadn't been cooked yet.

While waiting for everything to cook, I took in my surroundings. The pseudo Mediterranean colour palette of pastel yellow, red and pale blue combined with wild west slab serif fonts, golden waving cats and a goofy cartoon fish mascot gave me mixed emotions. Feelings of confusion. It was one of those things you just have to give up trying to make sense of.

The serving size of the fish and chips for this price bracket were quite impressive so I definitely wasn't left hungry.

The fish was a girthy piece of Warehou and the application of the batter was pretty good. However, it wasn't cooked at an optimum temperature which left it doughy in some parts and pockets of oil which popped in my mouth and sent shivers down my spine. Also there were a few mouthfuls of metallic muddiness thrown in for good measure.

The chips were dry hollowed out sticks which would have been impossible to digest without a beer.

In hindsight it seems like the Google maps blunder was the universe sending me a message. You'd have a higher chance of getting amazing fish and chips wherever that pin was located.

Hong Kong Fast Food

     REVIEW LOCATION:

New Plymouth

Store: Hong Kong Fast Food, 141 St Aubyn St.
Price: $7.60

Amount of chips:     5/5
Chip quality:        2/5
Size of fish:        5/5
Fish quality:        3/5

Total Score:         15

Well drained of oil?: Almost not a drop left.
Satisfied?: I'm stuffed.

Comments: 

As their name suggests, this food was definitely fast. I placed my order over the phone and it can't have taken me more than 8 minutes door to door but I arrived to find my food ready and waiting under a heat lamp.

This store was a visual overload. Menus upon menus, 3 coke fridges in a row and a screen playing channel 2 super loud. To the left of the counter was a dining room full of red velvet chairs to enjoy their western style Chinese menu. The woman working solo in the empty store was straight to the point and wasn't there to chitchat. As soon as I had paid for my meal she basically ran off to restock the coke fridge.

The chips were at a quantity unlike I have ever seen before. I had to tap out. There was no way I was going to fit that all inside my body or want to for that matter. A combination of bruised potato and fryer temp being too high left these chips hard outside and dusty on the inside. They digested slow and had the same mouth drying quality of a slice of quince.

The fish was a slice of lemon fish and the filet itself was pretty decent. They tried to lift it with a tiny wedge of lemon but the doughy under cooked batter brought it crashing back down.

The person cooking these was all thumbs and I'm glad I visited this shop alone so no one else had to go through this. Another one for the "Don't bother" pile.

Bell Block Takeaways

    REVIEW LOCATION:

New Plymouth

Store: Bell Block Takeaways, 10 Pohutukawa Pl.
Price: $8.00

Amount of chips:     5/5
Chip quality:        4/5
Size of fish:        5/5
Fish quality:        5/5

Total Score:         19

Well drained of oil?: Lacking.
Satisfied?: Absolutely!

Comments: 

This shop came up as a recommendation from a friend after last week's review as it's in the same part of town as Parklands Takeaways.

It got off to a rocky start. Even though we phoned ahead and arrived at the time stated over the phone, they blatantly started cooking the fish and chips after we arrived. It's Friday night so I thought I'd give them a pass on that. We probably missed the rush and they're probably still reeling from it('scuse the pun).
The branding was your typical job by a self taught provincial design company. Big heavy fonts, a stark heavy duty color palette with the awkward addition of a cartoony burger mascot doing the thumbs up or something. A TV blaring some painful current events comedy show with Jeremy Crobet or whatever the hell his name who was absolutely bombing. Revealing how out of touch he is by unearthing the Karen meme as though it's still relevant. Covid19 ads play in between while no one in the store wears a mask. A mandatory commercial fish poster hovering in the corner and the deep fryers hidden out the back of the shop in a different room while I'm curious what they're doing back there.The way the kid working the register squinted at us left me wondering if he was just being an angsty teen or if he desperately needed an eye examination. We also have to talk about the weird unused cabinets next to the counter with AstroTurf in them because I have no idea what that's about. They almost seemed like cold cases for fresh fish but why the AstroTurf? I don't get it.
The chips were an incredible take on what seems to be the town favorite - Mr Chip's brand chips. Probably the best batch of them I've had in terms of fry time and temp. The balance of the crispy bite through to creamy center was like a starch filled dream. A potato sonata so delicate and well conducted but never reaching the full cescendo you were hoping for because they rushed the oil drainage before dumping them into the news print. Like a lover getting an important business call right before you climax.
The Warehou filet, while also slightly drenched in oil, was a cut above the rest ('scuse this pun too). Not a single sour note and cooked beautifully. It was huge and I enjoyed every bite so it just felt wrong to mark down the quality score because of their impatient bang hang mishap.
If I didn't have to choose a different fish and chips spot every week, I could see this as being a place I'd go to if I had a massive hang over.

Parklands Takeaways

   REVIEW LOCATION:

New Plymouth

Store: Parklands Takeaways
Price: $8.00

Amount of chips:     5/5
Chip quality:        5/5
Size of fish:        5/5
Fish quality:        3/5

Total Score:         18

Well drained of oil?: Like a pro.
Satisfied?: Very. Very.

Comments: 

We had the pleasure of sharing the table with my brother in-law this week arriving fresh from London via the mandatory 2 week quarantine stint. I had initially planned to visit a hit or miss place this week as a sort of fish and chip equivalent of panning for gold, but this risky approach probably isn't the best way to welcome someone back into the country. We chose instead to go with a place with an above average rating on Google maps which granted can be just as risky but I'm pleased to announce that in this case Google reviews didn't disappoint.

It's your typical small town New Zealand branding nightmare of a fish and chip shop. At one stage it probably offered smorgasbord "Chinese food" but now the bain marie is used as a divider between staff and customers. There was a milkshake zone which was taken over by a home stereo playing some very forgettable soft rock. We phoned ahead and our order was waiting for us in a pie warmer which was a detail I lingered on well after leaving the store. I was also drawn to a printed picture of a burger in the window and their almost tasteful use of comic sans around the shop.
The chips were brilliant. Thicker than usual Mr Chip's brand chips, I'd say probably 15-18mm thick cut. Cooked, seasoned, banged and hanged to perfection. The scoop was massive and I kept eating them after feeling full.
The fish was a real thick slab of Warehou. It was almost set up to be a perfect 5 but was unfortunately let down by just 2 undesirable mouthfuls and the thick application of batter was steering me dangerously close to a wall of batter fatigue.
Though not a perfect score, I still enjoyed these and felt great after eating them. It will be joining my very small list of places to recommend in New Plymouth.