Bell Block Takeaways

    REVIEW LOCATION:

New Plymouth

Store: Bell Block Takeaways, 10 Pohutukawa Pl.
Price: $8.00

Amount of chips:     5/5
Chip quality:        4/5
Size of fish:        5/5
Fish quality:        5/5

Total Score:         19

Well drained of oil?: Lacking.
Satisfied?: Absolutely!

Comments: 

This shop came up as a recommendation from a friend after last week's review as it's in the same part of town as Parklands Takeaways.

It got off to a rocky start. Even though we phoned ahead and arrived at the time stated over the phone, they blatantly started cooking the fish and chips after we arrived. It's Friday night so I thought I'd give them a pass on that. We probably missed the rush and they're probably still reeling from it('scuse the pun).
The branding was your typical job by a self taught provincial design company. Big heavy fonts, a stark heavy duty color palette with the awkward addition of a cartoony burger mascot doing the thumbs up or something. A TV blaring some painful current events comedy show with Jeremy Crobet or whatever the hell his name who was absolutely bombing. Revealing how out of touch he is by unearthing the Karen meme as though it's still relevant. Covid19 ads play in between while no one in the store wears a mask. A mandatory commercial fish poster hovering in the corner and the deep fryers hidden out the back of the shop in a different room while I'm curious what they're doing back there.The way the kid working the register squinted at us left me wondering if he was just being an angsty teen or if he desperately needed an eye examination. We also have to talk about the weird unused cabinets next to the counter with AstroTurf in them because I have no idea what that's about. They almost seemed like cold cases for fresh fish but why the AstroTurf? I don't get it.
The chips were an incredible take on what seems to be the town favorite - Mr Chip's brand chips. Probably the best batch of them I've had in terms of fry time and temp. The balance of the crispy bite through to creamy center was like a starch filled dream. A potato sonata so delicate and well conducted but never reaching the full cescendo you were hoping for because they rushed the oil drainage before dumping them into the news print. Like a lover getting an important business call right before you climax.
The Warehou filet, while also slightly drenched in oil, was a cut above the rest ('scuse this pun too). Not a single sour note and cooked beautifully. It was huge and I enjoyed every bite so it just felt wrong to mark down the quality score because of their impatient bang hang mishap.
If I didn't have to choose a different fish and chips spot every week, I could see this as being a place I'd go to if I had a massive hang over.

Parklands Takeaways

   REVIEW LOCATION:

New Plymouth

Store: Parklands Takeaways
Price: $8.00

Amount of chips:     5/5
Chip quality:        5/5
Size of fish:        5/5
Fish quality:        3/5

Total Score:         18

Well drained of oil?: Like a pro.
Satisfied?: Very. Very.

Comments: 

We had the pleasure of sharing the table with my brother in-law this week arriving fresh from London via the mandatory 2 week quarantine stint. I had initially planned to visit a hit or miss place this week as a sort of fish and chip equivalent of panning for gold, but this risky approach probably isn't the best way to welcome someone back into the country. We chose instead to go with a place with an above average rating on Google maps which granted can be just as risky but I'm pleased to announce that in this case Google reviews didn't disappoint.

It's your typical small town New Zealand branding nightmare of a fish and chip shop. At one stage it probably offered smorgasbord "Chinese food" but now the bain marie is used as a divider between staff and customers. There was a milkshake zone which was taken over by a home stereo playing some very forgettable soft rock. We phoned ahead and our order was waiting for us in a pie warmer which was a detail I lingered on well after leaving the store. I was also drawn to a printed picture of a burger in the window and their almost tasteful use of comic sans around the shop.
The chips were brilliant. Thicker than usual Mr Chip's brand chips, I'd say probably 15-18mm thick cut. Cooked, seasoned, banged and hanged to perfection. The scoop was massive and I kept eating them after feeling full.
The fish was a real thick slab of Warehou. It was almost set up to be a perfect 5 but was unfortunately let down by just 2 undesirable mouthfuls and the thick application of batter was steering me dangerously close to a wall of batter fatigue.
Though not a perfect score, I still enjoyed these and felt great after eating them. It will be joining my very small list of places to recommend in New Plymouth.

California Takeaways

   REVIEW LOCATION:

New Plymouth

Store: California Takeaways, 201 Coronation Ave.
Price: $6.70

Amount of chips:     2/5
Chip quality:        4/5
Size of fish:        4/5
Fish quality:        3/5

Total Score:         13

Well drained of oil?: Nup.
Satisfied?: Just as hungry as I was before I ate them.

Comments: 

There are few things in this world more precious, more fulfilling, more genuinely heart warming than when the person you marry and have been with for most of your life looks you square in the eyes and says those magic words to you, "let's have fish and chips for dinner tonight".

California Takeaways looks so awesome from the outside. The window sign writing, signage and chalkboard menu are pretty pro but it's juxtaposed with a sandwich board painted in white enamel paint with content poorly written in a fine tip vivid.
As soon as you walk inside you're greeted by a drastically different vibe. The walls are absolutely covered with posters of the All Blacks in some bizzare obsessive way that made me feel weird. Like they were trying way too hard to let their customers know that they love rugby. Something was just really off about it.
Behind the counter was about enough space to fit two upright kelvinator fridge freezers and it was impressively occupied by 5 staff members frantically buzzing around getting orders out. A squeaky kid on the register anxiously dealing with customers as a zen uncle up the back was zoning out while working the deep fryers solo. Was good to see that all 5 of them had already implemented masks in the workplace after NZ very recently moved to alert level 2 which has yet to be rolled out at surrounding businesses.
The chips were delicious but there were barely any of them. They could have done with a longer oil drainage time but were good other than that. I just wish there were more of them.
The fish was also delicious but again let down by oil draining and size. It was super thinly sliced.
This place got talked up to me and while yes it was pleasant on the tongue and on the wallet, they were greasy little hold outs to be very honest.

Flying Dragon Takeaways

  REVIEW LOCATION:

New Plymouth

Store: Flying Dragon, 37 Tukapa St
Price: $7.30

Amount of chips:     5/5
Chip quality:        3/5
Size of fish:        4/5
Fish quality:        3/5

Total Score:         15

Well drained of oil?: Not great.
Satisfied?: I ate a lot.

Comments: 

This was a special event. It was a room full of family and friends all together enjoying a Friday night fish and chips feast.

This chip shop was located next to a pub with some terrible number pun for it's name. Upon finding a car park my sister asked if I'd like to pop in for a beer while we waited for the massive order for our tribe. She didn't need to ask me twice.
It was your bog standard fish shop with one kooky twist - the register had a perspex window with an intercom that you used to communicate with the person taking your order. The sign writing in the window stated that they also offer smorgasbord Chinese but the bain marie was used to keep the completed orders warm.
The chips were abundant and quite obviously Mr Chip's brand which you'd think are impossible to mess up but I guess it's nice to be reminded from time to time that nothing is impossible. The chips were inconsistent. Some burnt, some raw, some more limp than your favourite nu-metal band. They were not very well drained of oil but not to a point of being inedible.
The house fish was an underwhelming slice of Warehou. A few mouthfuls of less pleasing flavours and the oiliness left me feeling like I had just made out with a butter mould of my own face.
To be honest it's a little bit disheartening that the bonus of a beer while you wait doesn't really boost these fish and chips out of mediocrity.