Tong's Takeaways

REVIEW LOCATION:
Wellington

Store: Tong's Takeaways, 16 Bay Rd.
Price: $4.80

Amount of chips:     5/5
Chip quality:        4/5
Size of fish:        5/5
Fish quality:        2/5

Total Score:         16

Well drained of oil?: Yip.
Satisfied?: Yeah I feel alright.


Comments: Great value. This shop was awkward to be in and no one uttered a word as the droning of the extractor fan whirled in the background. The chips were not bad and the quantity was pretty fair for $2 but the surface texture was a little waxy. Sadly they were the only positive thing about the meal. The fish was a fair size but it sucked so much. The batter ratio was super batter heavy and doughy and under cooked. The flesh was chewy and was pretty bland. Meh. Best part about this shop is the name imo. SIIIIIICK oil drainage tho!

Strathmore Fish Shop

REVIEW LOCATION:
Wellington

Store: Strathmore Fish Shop, 506A Broadway.
Price: $5.10

Amount of chips:     5/5
Chip quality:        3/5
Size of fish:        4/5
Fish quality:        3/5

Total Score:         15

Well drained of oil?: Totally!
Satisfied?: Well I couldn't eat another bite but satisfied isn't the first adjective that comes to mind.


Comments: I've got the work vehicle over the weekend so I used this opportunity to explore a chip shop outside of my daily routine and thought I'd see what's up in the Miramar side of town. Google told me that the highest scoring review (due to zomato) was Strathmore Fish Shop. Here I go again - taking advice from goodness knows who online who probably have completely no idea when it comes to fish and chips. We've had millions of years of growing and evolving as a species and zomato is the best resource we got for analysing fish shops in the area ffs. This shop had seen better days but one redeeming feature was that one of the walls was all mirror so it felt like you were inside a strange dive chippery/power lifting gym mash up. The chips were a v generous half scoop but the first mouthful came with a subtle overtone of deep fried pork and the rest of the meal had an animal fatty mouthfeel and flavour. I'll take a punt and say they're Mr Chips brand chips and although they appeared well cooked and there was a good crunch to them, the interior of the chips was dense and kind of hard to digest which may be why I feel really full. The fish was not huge but it had a bit of girth to it and would have been a solid 4/5 if they had let it to fry for a little longer as it was doughy in areas. Overall it wasn't amazing but I don't feel oily so that's something I guess.

Supremo

REVIEW LOCATION:
Wellington

Store: SUPREMO, 2 Moxham Ave.
Price: $5.60

Amount of chips:     5/5
Chip quality:        3/5
Size of fish:        5/5
Fish quality:        3/5

Total Score:         16

Well drained of oil?: ish
Satisfied?: Yeah I'm pretty full.


Comments: This place is pretty stark - Complete with a new print of the NZ Commercial Fish Species poster, white fluorescent lighting, depressed gold fish in a small tank and one of those Giggle™ TV sets that plays low res viral vids and local company advertising. Customer rapport was not their strong suit which I can appreciate. I'm here to get dinner not make a new best bud. There were so many chips! Impressive for a half scoop! A lot of places don't even get close to this amount with their Full Scoops. Only to be let down by a very not great bang and hang, dry mouthfeel and some of the chips were pushed a little too dark and bruised. The fish was a great size lemon fish but the batter ratio was a little batter heavy and it was under cooked and doughy. Overall it wasn't bad - oil tasted fresh, there was a bonus slice of tangy lemon, everything was well seasoned and it was good value. I'm full but I feel like I just pashed someone with lip gloss on.

Kilbernie Fish & Chips

REVIEW LOCATION:
Wellington

Store: Kilbernie Fish & Chips, 41 Coutts Road.
Price: $5.00

Amount of chips:     5/5
Chip quality:        5/5
Size of fish:        5/5
Fish quality:        4/5

Total Score:         19

Well drained of oil?: YEAH!
Satisfied?: Yes!! I finally feel fresh and full!


Comments: This place! What a pleasant surprise! Amazing first impressions: I tried to call but their number listed online was disconnected, they had not only one but TWO NZ commercial fish species posters, the interior seemed untouched since the 60s/70s complete with faux discoloured marble walls and as I went to pay for my order the woman behind the counter apologised for not having EFTPOS as they are cash only. HAHA. The turnover of customers was insane, their tiny store was completely packed but I only had to wait around 5 or so minutes for my order. The chips were delicious home-cut crinkle fries and plentiful. Maybe more suited to those who prefer soft flaccid chips - ideal if you live with someone who suffers from misophonia but there were heaps of lil crunchies sprinkled through there FYI. The fish was a deece cut of lemon fish and cooked very well. Nothing fancy but it was chunky, great batter colour and batter ratio was on point. Overall they were well seasoned and oil drainage so good that I didn't even feel like I needed to wash up after smashing them. It feels good to finally get some good shark and tatties! Feel good yo! Feel good! Gtg I'm listening to Adina Howard's new album Resurrection for the first time rn and this album GOING TF INNN!

Ponsonby Fresh Fish and Chips

SPECIAL REVIEW:
Auckland

Store: Ponsonby Fresh Fish and Chips, 127 Ponsonby road.
Price: $7.00

Amount of chips:     2/5
Chip quality:        5/5
Size of fish:        3/5
Fish quality:        3/5

Total Score:         13

Well drained of oil?: Sorta.
Satisfied?: Nope I'm still quite hungry tbvh


Comments: So I say to my friend Chris (Power Nap/Golden Axe/Future Sport), I says, "What's a good place for fnc in Auckland CBD?". He gives me a list so I choose somewhere close to the venue I'm rocking tf out at tonight. Turns out Ponsonby Fresh Fish and Chips was across the road so that was the go. The light box outside proclaimed that they were the best fish and chips in Auckland for a few years running. The decor was dive chipper/shabby chic with a classic commercial fish poster on the wall and a hand rendered menu on a chalk board. These guys seemed like they had their shit down as they took out an infrared spot temperature gauge every so often to read the fryer temp. The fish was cooked in a completely different stand alone fryer to the chips. One thing that didn't aid to my incognito status was that my buddy Apa Hutt decided for whatever reason that he should inform the guys behind the counter that I was a fish and chips reviewer from Wellington. This got my metaphorical knickers In a twist but I reassured them that in fact I was only a normal person but I'm unsure if they bought it as they laughed at me after saying so. The chips were cooked to perfection and quite possibly the best I have had in my time as a fish and chips reviewer, however, the quantity was laughable and the oil content was quite substantial. The fish was a good colour grade but for a $5 piece it was oily and quite obviously an old and veiny cut with a rather muddy, metallic and bloody flavour profile. Overall it was very underwhelming and I feel like I dipped my head and hands into a puddle of diesel oil. On a lighter note at least they were very well seasoned and there was a nice fresh wedge of lemon to help break down the wax mouth :)