Salt & Batter

REVIEW LOCATION:
Wellington

Store: Salt & Batter, 67 The Parade, Island Bay.
Price: $8.50

Amount of chips:     5/5
Chip quality:        3/5
Size of fish:        3/5
Fish quality:        3/5

Total Score:         14

Well drained of oil?: No
Satisfied?: Yes - I feel full and I'm not gonna be sick.


Comments: The first impressions of this place started me off on a high - swanky new face lift on an old chippery, staff were friendly and very welcoming, I was in and out within 8 minutes and when I popped open that brown paper bag it revealed a swag of bonus extras! You got your punnet of 'mato sauce, got your punnet of tartare sauce and got your wedge of fresh lemon packed up in there. I went for a chip first (of which there were a substantial amount) and lo, it was floppy. The middle of it slightly under cooked with a bubbled waxy exterior. Classic case of deep fryer heat set too high so that they can knock out high quantities in a hurry. As the chips cooled down they became hard and got stuck in the cusp of my molars. I was expecting a lot from a $5 piece of standard fish but it wasn't very big, the batter was soggy and under cooked and most bites had a subtle muddy flavour. I had to wash my hands before I could write this review and I'm still picking pieces of fries out of my teeth.

Fish N Chips on Tory

REVIEW LOCATION:
Wellington

Store: Fish N Chips on Tory, 5/100 Tory St.
Price: $6.30

Amount of chips:     5/5
Chip quality:        3/5
Size of fish:        5/5
Fish quality:        3/5

Total Score:         16

Well drained of oil?: Yes
Satisfied?: Yes I simply could not eat another bite.

Comments: This place is not as bad as I had been led to believe. It was stark, lifeless with no music and harsh fluorescent lights - I loved this about the place. The chips were again McCains but not cooked as well as my previous review. They were amazing in the way of oil drainage and good temp but the center seemed dry and hard to swallow. The fish was huuuuuge and it was a relatively ok cut however it was quite a thin fillet and was cooked a little too lightly and was quite doughy. Overall everything was quite under seasoned and dry and I did succumb to batter fatigue but I think this may be due to the size of the fish rather than the batter ratio. Finger oil was really not an issue and I didn't even have to wash up. I feel great and really full but they weren't very exciting tbh. Ok at best. It was alriiiiight.

Fu Xian Takeaways

REVIEW LOCATION:
Wellington

Store: Fu Xian Takeaways, 347 The Parade, Island Bay
Price: $4.80

Amount of chips:     5/5
Chip quality:        5/5
Size of fish:        5/5
Fish quality:        5/5

Total Score:         20🎉

Well drained of oil?: Yes
Satisfied?: Yes I feel great!

Comments: I'm finding it REALLY hard to fault this place... Everything from the excessively long bang and hang to everyone behind the counter all wearing McCain branded dad hats was so on point! So ridiculously cheap for such baller quality fish and chips. I think their fries were McCain fries as the McCain branding is practically plastered to any surface that it will adhere to. The chips were just how I like them - nice bit of bite in the exterior to break through into a creamy mash center. Smooth surface texture and no interfering flavours which I guess is due to them keeping on top of their oil temp and freshness. The fish was a very chunky cut which made it very juicy and kept the center tender while the batter was perfectly browned to maintain the crunch until the last bite. Very meaty, fresh and batter ratio was perfect. They pay a lot more attention to their oil draining process than most chippers and boy was it worth it - no oily fingers or waxy mouth. I'm def hitting this place up if ever I'm in island bay but next time I'm upgrading to a full scoop to really push myself to that level of regret, stomach pain and lethargy that a good chippery truly deserves.

The Paperboat

REVIEW LOCATION:
Wellington

Store: The Paperboat, 461 Adelaide Rd.
Price: $5.80

Amount of chips:     5/5
Chip quality:        3/5
Size of fish:        5/5
Fish quality:        3/5

Total Score:         16

Well drained of oil?: Not really
Satisfied?: Yeah - I feel full but a little bit greasy but not gross though.


Comments: So after feeling let down by the chipper last week I thought I should check out their competition who have recently opened directly across the road. This place is kinda swankyish tacky sailor chic - all the staff have matching uniforms, there were maritime themed pictures and objects everywhere and you can dine in and eat off a big plate. There were A LOT of chips but I feel like the fryer may have been set too high as they had a wonton-like surface texture and began to get hard and chewy as they cooled. They were hand crafted fries which was nice in the way of chip size and crispness variation but they weren't parboiled like store bought fries so the center of the the chip was dense and not very creamy. The fish tasted fresh and was possibly the largest single fish I have had during my time as a Fish and Chips Friday reviewer but the cut was flakey and I eventually succumbed to the dreaded batter fatigue. Seasoning was very light and they didn't bang and hang for quite long enough. Overall it was ok and I feel well fed but I don't think I'll rush to tell anyone to go eat there before they die. I gotta go wash my hands and my lips.

Golden Sun Takeaways

REVIEW LOCATION:
Wellington

Store: Golden Sun Takeaways, 456 Adelaide Rd.
Price: $4.70

Amount of chips:     4/5
Chip quality:        3/5
Size of fish:        5/5
Fish quality:        3/5

Total Score:         15

Well drained of oil?: Not really.
Satisfied?: Still felt peckish and quite greasy.


Comments: This place was cute and it sucks that I couldn't give them a better review. Appeared it was a family business with two women front of house and younger women doing the prep out the back while watching TV. I really wanted to like it but my emotional response aside, it simply wasn't good. Chips were ok in terms of quantity but a few very oily rouge chips put me off eventually. Fish was a very good size, the cut was full and meaty but the batter ratio and fried degree was a little off. I had to mark them down across the board for quality because they were farrrr too liberal with their salt shakers to the point where it burnt my mouth to eat lukewarm food. Everything had an animal fatty flavour which made me wonder when they last had an oil change. Greasy hands and my mouth feels like I just ate a candle. I need a beer.